Amani's late maternal grandmother was a seamstress and taught her to crochet during a trip she took to Lebanon as a teenager. She was gifted with her crochet hook which she still uses to this day. Amani has depicted herself crocheting web-like florets as a testament to her heritage, and as a symbol of the role of creativity in the healing process.

This self-portrait tracks her personal growth and development as an artist over the past year. Amani reflects on the cycles of trauma and healing in her life, referencing Dr Judith Herman’s book titled Trauma and Recovery in which she explores the effects of domestic violence and war. Ironically, as Amani painted this work about recovery, she consumed news of the recent Christchurch massacre and Ristevski trial; both very triggering. Persevering with the painting turned her process into a radical act; resisting the helplessness and disappointment of living a violent world.

In addition to creative expression, Amani keeps around 20 houseplants which play an important role in her self-care. In this composition, they represent growth and resilience but also the part of her that tends to latch on to specific interests, at times excessively or obsessively.

Amani has centered herself in the composition, between areas of dark and light. Although she looks forward toward light and almost everything is in motion, she finds herself tired and wondering; who are we without all of the things we use to fill time and space?

Amani Haydar is a writer, award-winning artist and former Archibald Prize finalist based in Western Sydney. Her writing and illustrations have been published in Arab Australian Other, Sweatshop Women Volume Two, SBS Voices and ABC News Online. Amani's self-portrait, Insert Headline Here, was a finalist in the 2018 Archibald Prize. Amani was the winner of the 2020 Cumberland Art Prize and 2019 Law Society of NSW Just Art Prize. In 2020, Amani was a finalist for the NSW Premier’s Woman of the Year Award and was named Local Woman of the Year for Bankstown in recognition of her advocacy against domestic violence. Amani’s debut memoir, The Mother Wound, was released in June 2021.